ADEGBUYII: WHAT YOU MUST DO IN A NIGERIAN PARTY

So I attended an engagement ceremony the day before, and it was wonderful really, but of course there are those elements which always allow it to identify properly with a typical Nigerian party. So here are the things I believe to be the requirements for a typical Nigerian family

1. African Time: In its mild sense, being fashionably late. This is usually due to the women of the house, mainly the mother. She wakes you up at 6 am in the morning to rush you to get ready for a party by 10 am. By 7, you are ready and seated in the living room, but she is just about to go bath, that’s about 45 minutes gone. Let’s not forget she needs to choose an outfit, another 30 minutes. Then there’s the make-up, which requires about fifty minutes. She then decides she does not like the look and chooses another outfit, and clears and applies another coat of make-up to match, thus repeating the cycle again. After she is done, you might have to wait for that friend who is also hitching a ride, another 1 hour. Around this time your mother has told the host about 5 times that you are already on your way, or even worse, that you are at the gate. You leave the house by 12, you enter gbese traffic for about an hour or more, you then arrive at the venue by 2ish. But there’s no problem, because even the hosts of the event have not arrived either. 

2. The Extra Invitees: Also known as mo gbo mo ya. These people are normally known as the passers-by who see a party going on and see it as an avenue for free food. These are not the only ones though. Yes, I’m talking to you, you who decide to tag along with your friend to that party, ‘to keep them company’. You do not know the celebrant/bride/groom/host/dead person at the funeral, but decide to go and act like the star of the show.
3. Over-zealously dressed people: These ones whose ambition it is to outshine the celebrant/bride/groom/dead person (dead or not, they are still the main person, abeg). These people usually come in form of women with their oversized geles, runs girls showing off a bit too much, ‘big boys’ with their bling and goggles sunglasses and men with their agbadas that sweep the whole walkway. Please help us and simmer down with your get up.
4. Anger/Confusion: What’s a Nigerian party without this right? That point when you don’t find the host, or the food does not get around well enough or the music is not working well. Everyone gets tense around these moments. Caution, if your mother is part of the committee during parties like this, do not disturb her around this time

5. Food: Ah yes, the assortment of food. Nigerian Parties are very famous in this aspect. The problem though, is at a point, it’ll seem like the food is vanishing. This could be due to those gluttons who decide one plate of rice is not enough, and after the 4^th plate, still want to try out the swallow meals and the variety of meat, chicken, turkey, fish etc. Of course, to go with this they need bottles and cartons of juice, soft drinks, beer, water etc. to wash it down. They consume the food meant for multitudes and still find space. The miraculous part is at the end of the party, just like the feeding of the 5000, there are still leftovers enough for people to pack about 3 warmers each to take home to feed their family, friends, dogs, cat etc.
6. Dignitaries/Special Guests: This is not very essential, but in order to spice up your party, there is need for an invited D.P.O, Governor/Deputy, Speaker, Justice etc. There is also need to recognise the presence of such dignitaries, people who only come at the middle and leave at the middle, just to make an appearance.
7. Family reunions: Probably one of the most infuriating things at these parties, those aunties uncles, great grandfather, half-brothers, who claim to know you and haven’t seen you since you popped out of your mother or since you were ‘like this’. Sometimes, there’s a bright side, as there is that rich uncle that will give you money. Nigerian parties generally are used as avenues to meet long lost family members.
8. Money: This is obviously the best part of Nigerian parties. The spraying of money everywhere once people hit the dance floor. As a kid /teenager, this is a great method of earning money. Be careful though, if your mother is the type to immediately ask for your earnings after, I suggest you stash it away and formulate a quick excuse.

9. Music: There are two types of music, the live band and the D.J. Most parties make use of both. The live band is usually used for most of the party and honestly, I have to hail the musician’s vocal chords for being able to sing for so long. These musicians will usually hail you and fit your name into their song to entice you to spray them money. So beware, after they call your name the second time, you better sit down. The D.J is usually used at the end when the young ones want to dance or in some cases, when the musician has lost his/her voice or caught a sore throat.
10. The after party: The good thing about Nigerian Parties is, they last till whenever. A party scheduled to end at 7 pm will have that unofficial after party where the big men will gather round to tell moonlight stories about political parties and government policies, women will discuss boutiques, Dubai, gold etc., the young adults will find their special corners and the kids will be running around, catching their own fun. All the while, there is music blaring from the speakers that can be heard from the next estate.

Doesn’t matter where you are, Overseas or here, it is easy to spot a Nigerian party.

All this right here is my opinion, I am entitled to it so please don’t judge me. Some people take my patriotism at my age to be odd, but oh well, I am Nigerian and proud. Feel free to comment and post your own opinion . Ejo, no haters on here, I’m new to this so spare me.

SOURCE