I’m in a relationship of 8 years and have two children with a man that I used to be deeply in love with. In the beginning relationship with this man things were great as the relationship progressed and as the years went by things between us are not the same and have changed. he is a great father and person, I still do love him but I am not in love with him anymore. I feel as though we have drifted apart and we have nothing in common.
However, there is another man in my life that I confide in that is my best friend and a co worker, it feels as though he is my sole mate. He makes me happy and knows everything about me and over the years I have fallen in love with him. The feeling is very mutual but he is also married and not happy. I am deeply in love with him and I know there is nothing else in the world that would make me happier then to be with him forever. Even if it means losing everything that I have worked for and I had to live on the side of the street in a cardboard box I would still be happy with this man.
OTHER SIMILAR SITUATION:
- I thought only men go through this. I have been married for 8 years (in a relationship for 10) and things are not that great. I have fallen out of love with my wife. I think this is partly because she is much older than I am and we really do not have that much in common. On top of that, I have always had a crush on my co-worker, I have just kept it secret for this long. Now that I have been getting to know her a lot, Ive developed very strong feelings for her.. (its not a rebound thing since Ive been on the rebound before)…(We’ve been working together for 6+ years, have always had a great working relationship, and I think have a lot of things in common). I think things are not going well for her either but its hard to tell. At times, she will tell me things but then sometimes she seems guarded. She has been married for 5 years and have been with him for I think about 8. (In fact, I am hoping this is my co-worker…. If your name starts with D, please let me know)…I really want to tell her how I feel but am just afraid of the risks involved. She works in another location but we have to call eachother for business purposes. I think she knows because I like to talk to her for non related work issues/relationship issues. I also send her candy and bagels and such and always talk to her at the end of the day.I know this isnt right, since I also have two kids as well, but my heart is so torn. Sometimes, you have to take a risk.. I also may lose everything I have worked for and would risk it all just to be completely happy in her arms, to comfort her and to make her as happy as she makes me..) If I knew she felt at least an inkling of the same way, I would take the risk in a heartbeat.
- LoveyGirl responded:I fell in love with my co-worker who was also my best friend. Although it was brought up many of times, that was never an issue. We were both in other long term relationships, not married but I have several children…him not married either but had no children.We were such good friends. In the begining it was more like we were just gonna do the "friends with benefits" thing, but eventually we fell in love…it started with me…then eventually we were both in love and spending so much time together as if we were "boyfriend-girlfriend". I moved out of my house and my family (thats a whole nother novel).After spending another wonderful weekend together, he decided to tell her that it was over between them, the hurt and sadness he caused her kept him there. Maybe a week or so later, she tells him shes preggers, he then tells me.Although he doesnt want her to have the baby, she does. They have a little boy. A beautiful little boy that he and I could have shared together-but instead I listened to him and didnt have "our child".Im renting a place alone, theyre together still-only now with a little boy.They decided to stay together for the baby, even though they both say their over eachother and they dont do anything together nor eachother…they live in the same house and sleep in the same bed!I dpnt want to give up, but I think Im about to give in. Ive been the other woman for much too long now, its time for me to think about me and put me first.The sad part is that I lost my BestFriend, actually, the only real friend Ive had for a very long time…Such is life…
- Kathie responded:We’re on same situation. I have a partner and one child from him but were miles apart as of now. Im working abroad for now. Suddenly, my heart becomes silly i am so excited to work everyday because me and my coworker will see each other again.. i cant explain what i feel now. but i always think about my coworker. and then i just got surprised when he gave me a heart necklace locket as a Christmas gift. Idk if thereis a meaning behind that but i didnt ask. My feelings for him getting deeper and deeper and we spend so much time together.but still no one knows and im thinking of keep it inside of me. Can u gve me some advise.
- heartsbreak responded:
- Then you both get a divorce and move on. I know the feeling so do what makes you happy
- Ugh responded:
- How would you like your tall glass of adultery? Extra fire and brimstone? Sin on the side? You people disgust me. It’s no mystery that over time people change, dreams change and feelings change. You made a vow to a human being and under God! If you can’t commit to that. You should have never sacrificed yourself. Commitment, it’s a long devoted and trusted thing you can offer your partner. You ruin the meaning of marriage and partnership for other people. Marriage isn’t easy. It’s constant trying, forever comprising and giving up some things for yourself. You’ve drifted apart for your significant other. Life isn’t over. Your life with your partner isn’t over! Rekindle your relationship and make it work. Most importantly stop being a home wrecker you’re interested in someone else because it’s new as it’s appealing. You’re feeling desired and that makes you happy, but you’ve devoted yourself and gave your word to another person or does that not mean anything? Ugh so disgusted.. Go to church please… You need jesus. He can help and do amazing things.
- hollowsoul responded:Think of your children. How they would have to suffer. Think of your husband all that he has done. You live a good life and you are willing to tear it apart for another married man? Now. Think of his family, how his wife would suffer. And how your husband would suffer.
- Frankl responded:As the spouse that on the receiving end this stuff just STOP IT AND STOP IT NOW. I had been tricked to lied to etc by a woman I dedicated my life to, why because she did not want to hurt me or the kids…she was killing us, she turned me into a neurotic spy. You should tell you cheat partner to divorce his wife/her husband and you will be there, that’s how much you love them.Only 25% of affairs especially EA end up in a relationship and only 3% of those last a year or more. What it is , is your relationship is exciting,adrenaline producing etc, but this ends and your in regular love and guess what that is what you have now with you spouse. So what happens you break up with your affair. It’s almost like a rebound relationship. Everyone yes every therapist, friend counselor, book is telling my wife she is acting like a 15 year old Girlie girl. She’s really going to leave her medical career move to Middle East and live with a tour guide with a belly like Winnie the Pooh and a face like Shrek when she is Jennifer Aniston look a like with muscles and he’s diabetic etc…it’s all BS. .I warn you this leads to nothing but misery for everyone.My wife’s special friend supposedly has been pressuring her to leave, but all the time he still visits her gets her to cut out of work, take extra vacation, lie to me and the kids, still have incredible physical relations with me (rumor is he ain’t able to), etc. Well if he was a real man he would have set " obviously your in love with me, and me you" so I will wait you need to decide what you want". Then if she calls him because of the adrenaline crave, ask her, if no tell her sorry! Truth is he does not really care for her, he just is a lonely creep who used his position and her vulnerability, I guarantee you a year from now he will dump her like a hot potato! So she looses a 28 year marriage, two sons, million dollar house a guy who worships her , her job, her friends, her dignity, for what!
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