Are you in a relationship whereby you always have to guess what your man's mood-swing means?Do you have this creepy feeling that he may be seeing someone else but you have no solid proof to back your suspicions? Well, here are 6 not-so-obvious signs that your man is definitely cheating on you:
- Manscaping and getting buff: Yes, it's nice for a man to groom himself, but when he starts shaving and trimming down more than he's ever done in the past, it's something to question. Is he more enamored with his own body than yours when you stand next to him in front of the bathroom mirror? That's a big red flag. Of course, physical fitness is healthy, but when it becomes obsessive and he keeps showing off his abs and biceps, take that as a warning sign that could lead to him to become more enthralled with his own body than his commitment to your marriage.
- He stops inviting you out to business events: Is he out several nights a week meeting with clients, vendors, agencies and people from his department or team? Have you been excluded from the social gatherings, and then learn other spouses had attended? This is a pretty good indication that he's up to something. It may not be quite infidelity, but he's flirting with it, as well as some woman who "understands" how hard he works.
- He suddenly becomes angry: Is he showing anger and volatility that he never had before? That could be his guilt turned outward toward you. He may feel a sense of guilt for cheating but can't man up to tell you the truth, so it's his unconscious protection mechanism to keep him safe that has him blaming you for his outbursts. Don't tolerate his moody, guilt-fueled blame and accusations. He is in charge of his own emotions, but the guilty mind will wriggle around anything to avoid telling the truth. He'll blame his anger on something you did or said, or some situation at work. If he's become more critical of you, your choice in clothing, where you want to go for dinner, or the sound of your ringtone (even if it's been the same one for years), that should clue you in to his inner turmoil. Don't take it personally like I did; that will erode your self-esteem like a crashing wave on a sandcastle. Starting today, create healthy boundaries for yourself and realize that we show people how to treat us by what we will accept from them.
- He has new moves in the bedroom: Where'd you learn that? Those were my exact words after he did something a little different during sex. Unless you've both discovered some new technique or position and he does something new that he's never done before, you will seeing red -- as in a really big red flag.
- He starts to drink, smoke, and avoid you: Aside from the other women, has he picked up any bad habits? That guilt issue may seep out in self-destructive habits. e aware if you notice an uptake in smoking, drinking, gambling, and even spending. Again, you're keeping an eye out for a change in normal activity. His cheating is like a cancer cell--an abnormal change in behaviour--and you're looking for irregularities. Does it seem like he just doesn't want to spend time with you? He's too busy with work to come home to eat, he needs time with the guys on the weekend, that big game is on and he just can't miss it, or he's too tired to talk and needs to decompress alone?
- His phone passcode suddenly becomes a secret: Observe and watch for differences in his behaviour from what has been the norm. Have a conversation with him and be aware of how many "I" statements he makes. Does he always suggest you need to change? Claiming you made him feel angry or act a certain way? Is he getting defensive easily and laying blame on you? If you confront him, he'll deny, deny, deny, so stay vigilant and stand your ground. Don't be satisfied with not seeing his password protected accounts if you ask to see them. Yes, our privacy is important, but if your sense of trust is at stake, it's a request. He'll do his best to make you think you're just being paranoid. Most importantly, trust your intuition. Take some intentional time to sit quietly, expanding the breath and relaxing your body. With each deepening breath, release the mind chatter and let thoughts flow downstream. Then, gently bring to mind the question or situation in a neutral way, and listen to your inner voice--the wise intuitive self who will guide you. Keep doing this exercise for greater clarity.
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