Self-esteem isn't an essential need like food or water, but it's a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled. Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.
Here are ten things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships;
- Confident women don't analyze if he likes them — they assume he does: People with high self-esteem believe they are worthy of love and don't question how someone feels about them. They know that they are good, competent, and lovable and trust that the right person for them will see this. They don't attach their worth to what a guy thinks and, as a result, don't feel stressed and anxious when a guy's feelings are unclear. Instead, they assume he likes them and are able to be present in the relationship and enjoy it without being weighed down by fears and doubts.
- Confident people realize if a relationship falls apart it's because it wasn't right, not because they did something wrong: Not everyone is a match and sometimes, two people are just incompatible. This doesn't make either of them flawed or bad — sometimes it's just not there. Confident women don't take it personally when a guy doesn't want a romantic relationship. They realize that it must not be the right match and they move on, with their sense of self firmly intact.
- Confident women set healthy boundaries: Healthy personal boundaries and high self-esteem go hand in hand. Having strong boundaries means you prioritize your needs and your emotions and do not assume responsibility for someone else's needs and emotions. Confident women know what they will and will not accept and don't allow themselves to be pressured or guilted into doing things they don't want to do. They act in accordance with who they are and what they believe and don't cater their behaviour for a guy, or do things solely to keep him interested and happy.
- Confident women trust themselves and the decisions they make: A key component of having high self-esteem is trusting yourself to make the right choices while also realizing you are well equipped to cope should things go awry. People with high self-esteem don't constantly question their actions and feel conflicted about the right thing to say or do. They act on how they feel and are comfortable being their true, authentic selves.
- Confident women don't show off or talk themselves up:Confident people don't need to tell the world how great they are. Only insecure people secretly feel that they are unworthy and feel the need to hide this by bragging about their achievements or talking themselves up. A woman who reveals herself gradually, carefully peeling back the layers over time, is significantly more attractive than a woman who lays it all out there.
- Confident women accept responsibility: Confident people accept responsibility for their actions and emotions. They don't blame or shame their partners if they feel unhappy and don't accuse him of "making" them feel a certain way. They don't blame men for being jerks and they don't view themselves as the victims of other people and circumstances. They take responsibility for their choices, both good and bad, and use mistakes as opportunities to grow and become even better.
- Confident women take the relationship for what it is and don't need it to be a certain way: Confident people feel secure in their relationships. They don't need to have a title or a ring as some sort of confirmation that the guy cares. They are able to just be present and in the relationship and let it unfold organically, without force or pressure. This is not to say they stay with guys who won't commit and are all cool and go-with-the-flow about it. If a guy can't commit in the way they want, then they'll move on. They are able to give and receive freely in their relationships and as a result, they don't stress out about labels.
- Confident women don't stay in bad relationships:Confident people do not stay in relationships where they don't feel respected, appreciated, and valued. And they don't assume full responsibility if a relationship isn't working and take it upon themselves to try to solve the problem by giving and doing more. They aren't afraid to walk away when something isn't working and the thought that they won't be able to find better or that they will wind up alone doesn't cross their mind. The can quickly see when a situation is damaging and will remove themselves immediately.
- Confident women don't desperately seek reassurance:People with high self-esteem know they are loved and lovable. They don't need a guy to remind them every day — it's just something they feel and know. When you are insecure, you need constant validation and become resentful if your partner doesn't give it to you. You blame him for "making you" feel insecure in the relationship, or unloved. You may work harder to try to please him and earn his love, or you may withhold your love and affection to even the score. This manifests as neediness (the number one relationship killer): you need constant reassurance and if you don't get it, you lash out and blame your partner for not providing it.
- Confident women choose wisely: Confident people use their head and heart when choosing a romantic partner. They are able to quickly assess if someone is emotionally healthy and can give them what they need in a relationship. They don't let their ego get too intertwined with their emotions and they make sure they are fundamentally compatible with someone before they get too involved.
If you don't value yourself, then you will always be attracted to people who don't value you either. Confident people value and accept themselves for who they are.
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