No woman likes a controlling guy. None ever, and though some might take it as a sign that he cares about you a lot, it is often the first signs of an abusive relationship, and no one wants that. An insult turns to slap, then a punch, then you end up in the hospital or even worse, a coffin. So we’re here to let you know what to look for to figure out if you man is controlling and has the potential to be abusive. Signs your man is controlling:
Your friends and family. If you can’t even get one night with your friends to hang out because he wont let you, then you have a controlling man. The kind of man where you have to ask for permission to go out, and when you do go out he’s coming with you just to make sure you’re not doing anything crazy. And if by a stroke of luck he lets you out, he calls every 30 mins while you’re out with your friends. He’s very insecure and pretty much wants everything to be with him or where he can monitor you.
Controlling men will often try to control access to who you see and when. He often has a problem with whoever he thinks has the most influence over you, like a sister, mother, or best friend. He'll come up with all kinds of reasons this person is bad for you, and if you ever hit a rough patch with that person, he won't let you forget it, and will constantly say things like, "Why would you want to be friends with someone who treats you so badly?" The gist is that it's only HE who has your best interests at heart and therefore you should only listen to HIM.
Finances. Controlling guys will often insist on being the ruler of the family finances, the one who pays the credit cards, the one who controls the bank account, and you can only spend money if you run it by him first. Sometimes he will withhold money for something small. Yet if you want to get a job to earn your own money, he comes up with reasons why you shouldn't.
Social media. A controlling guy will insist on having the passwords to your Facebook, instagram, twitter and email, accounts and check your phone to see who you're calling. If he’s always asking you about who liked your picture, or why you retweeted someone, or liked someone’s status, then it’s a major problem. You shouldn’t live your life feeling like every aspect of you including your social media is being watched and monitored 24/7. He'll do this even if you've never given him a reason not to trust you, and come up with some excuse like he's "protecting" you from crazies on the Internet.
Your activities. A controlling man hates it when you go anywhere that might mean you're out from under his control -- even if that is just the gym, or a friend's house, or the park. He'll sabotage it in any way he can think of. If ordering you not to go doesn't work, he might pretend to be sick to get you to stay home, or tell you that you can't waste the gas in the car, or accuse you of trying to stay in shape so you can attract other men.
The way you look. A controlling guy will have something to say about every aspect of your appearance, from your clothes to your weight to your makeup. Why are you wearing eyeshadow if you're just going to the grocery store? You need to lose/gain a few pounds. You're not really going to wear those boots, are you? Why won't you dye your hair red?
.Joint" activities. A controlling guy will often control even the things that you're supposed to be doing as a team -- such as where you go on vacation, which movie you rent that night, and what you have for dinner.
He Asks About Every Male Friend . Yes men like to know some of your male friends, and sometimes it’s just for the assurance, but if every male person you come in contact with has to validated and given a full history of your relationship with that person, then there is a problem. You bump into an old classmate with him and you have to explain how exactly you know him, how long, how well, etc. Brother has some issues.
Womanly duties." Often a controlling guy will make it seem abnormal if you want to have any choices or power or control by having a sexist, misogynistic attitude that declares that women should do the chores, or wives should always cook for their husbands, or mothers should never work or have time to themselves away from the kids.
Calls You Too many Times. I know we ladies complain that sometimes our men don’t call us as much as we’d like, but when he calls all the time, it’s stalkerish and it’s not cute. Calling 10-15 times a day is not a sign of caring, it’s a sign of stalking and wanting to make sure he keeps tabs on you 24/7. And God bless your soul if you don’t answer. You might end up having to explain every second you were not on the phone with him. Not cute.
Sex. It's always when he wants it, and how he wants it. If you try to take control in that area, he shuts down, or makes you feel "dirty," or suddenly has no sexual interest.
The only real way for a guy to loosen his controlling grip is with the realization that what he is doing is destroying the relationship and that he needs to figure out why he's trying so hard to control life. Then he needs outside help via counseling, support groups, behavioral therapy, etc.
He wont let you make decisions for yourself . We all need some guidance and help in decision making every now and then. That’s true. But if your man constantly has to be in the center of every decision you make, or has to be consulted for any decision you make, then it’s a red flag. He just wont let you be if you make a decision without his input.
Asks You For Proof That You’re Telling The Truth. He never takes your word as the truth. There always has to be proof that you were where you said you were or with who you said you were with. Proof that you’re at home, proof that you’re at work, proof that you’re talking to your mom. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove yourself like you’re in court then you are a prisoner in that man’s prison.
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