arriage is the only institution that brings two people together and gives them only one future. It is sacred, and the way it works has not yet been understood by many people going into it. Many homes that have gone sour today did so because their foundation was faulty, most of the time because of ‘bad’ choices of who to marry, hence the need to know if parents’ involvement in the choice of their children’s life partners is a plus or minus.
The method doesn’t work for everybody
Bisoye Odubona
It is very wrong for parents to influence their children’s choice of life partners; you don’t decide their future for them so that in the end, they will not hold you responsible if the marriage goes sour. They may not be able to forgive their parents over that. It is important for parents to know that at a certain stage in life, they stop to determine the fate of their children. You can direct them, but when you begin to impose or ‘arrange’ life partners for your children, it is very wrong. I know it works for some people but doesn’t work for some, and the unfortunate thing is you can never know if it is going to work for you.
Parents’ only responsibility is to pray
Sunday Idodo
No, it can’t be possible, not at all. Why I say this is because if parents ‘arrange’ life partners for their children, later in life when the child finds out he or she does not like the partner, there will be problems. He or she will put the blame on the parents. But when the child chooses on his or her own without the influence of the parents whatsoever, he or she would have no one to blame. Parents should let their children find out who suit them and just back them up with prayers.
Divorce rate was lower when parents chose for children
Korede Babalola
We should know this first: parents always want the best for their children and they are always afraid that their children would fall into wrong hands. These parents must have been studying their children for years to know what they like and do not. So by looking at the facts, our parents know what we want. Apart from that, parents are better experienced and are better judges of characters and when they want to choose for their children, they study the potential life partners of their children and look at the family background and compatibility. None is better between children choosing for themselves and parents doing that. But if you look at the divorce rate when parents ‘arranged’ for their children in those days and now when we choose for ourselves, it was lower then. That is a clear distinction that our parents are better judges and that they can decide who their children should marry.
Parents should leave God to do His work
Governor Lucky
It is not good at all for any parent to do that. It leads to problems and chaos in the home and the effects on the society at large could be dangerous. It leads to confusion. It is just like deciding the future of their children. God created these children and knows what is best for everybody when we pray. Parents should allow God to influence the choice of their children’s life partners. Parents should not be too involved in it.
The children will be unhappy later in life
Oluwatosin Oni
No, I don’t support that. Nowadays, children are enlightened enough to know what is good or bad for themselves. In those days, they did that. But now, it may be disastrous for parents to ‘arrange’ life partners for their children. No one should do such except if they want to be the causative agents of their children’s unhappiness later in the future.
Yes, they tend to know better
Fadekemi Adeosun
Sometimes, parents know better than the children do and they could have seen beyond what the child might see, so they could be making an informed recommendation or suggestion. It is not a bad idea for parents to arrange a partner for their child as long as the child is not forced to accept. Parents want the best for their children, so I’m sure they would only recommend someone they know and from a family they can vouch for. So, if I don’t have anybody I’m going out with and my mother recommends someone, I will consider the person, and if I see that we are not compatible, that would be the end of it, but I would give it a try. She can advise but not try to impose because she is not the one to live with the man, I am, so I have to decide.
They have to respect my wish
Kemi Ayomikun
It is wrong for any parent to do that. Marriage is for better or worse, so, those who would be involved in the marriage should be left to decide because if anything goes wrong they won’t have to blame or accuse anyone of being responsible. Parents can only advise, and even if they recommend, there is no problem with that, but that should be the end of their efforts. When it comes to ‘arranging’ or imposition, then, there may be a problem. I may not dismiss their suggestion or recommendation, but the discretion is mine and it is better if they agree with me. I can look into their reservations, if they have any, about the person I choose to marry, but the decision is mine to make.
Only if I’m single and I like the person
Janet Elijah
I will look for my own husband, so they do not have to bother. I know what I want in a man and I’m the only one who can decide who is good for me. If I bring anyone and they don’t approve the person, I will go and look for another, because when I make a choice either rightly or wrongly, I’m the person involved in the marriage. They can advise and probably guide, but not arrange or impose. However, it is understandable that parents want the best for their children, but my decision matters here. The only condition for me to consider their choice is if I’m not in a relationship and I like the person they brought.
In this modern world?
Ayanfeoluwa Ilugbiyin
No. Besides, parents who truly love their children should never do a thing like that because they won’t be the ones to live with the partner after wedding. Marriage experience starts immediately after wedding, hence, the child would be the only one to face the consequences of such a decision. If it’s a bad one, then she has to live with it for life and she would forever blame the parents who did the ‘arrangement’ because they have ruined her chance of a happy home. When I want to get married, I know what to look out for and I know whom my heart is with, so I don’t have to pretend to be a good girl and regret for the rest of my life. When people marry based on the parents’ decision, they might end up enduring the marriage instead of enjoying it because the two ‘arranged’ persons may not be compatible. Parents should just advise, pray and support them.
They cannot choose for me
Rita Urebuchi
It is not right because they can’t choose for me. Even if they recommend, I don’t think I will like the person, I have to make my own choice, so there is no point. But if they are lucky and I like the person, I can consider the person, which does not translate into automatic approval. In fact, they shouldn’t bother. Such things are no longer applicable these days. They can only advise or express their disapproval with my choice, and if their reasons are good enough, I can leave the person. If they try to impose the person on me, it may lead to a problem and a major issue because I won’t accept, apart from the fact that such union of imposition does not last. If they refuse to accept my wish and I am ready to marry, I will go to Registry without them and get married to the person I choose. They can’t impose somebody on me.
REPORTS FROM PUNCHNG.COM
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