GUYS!!! GOOD NEWS : YOU ARE BETTER IN BED THAN YOU THINK

A new study reveals that a third of all men think they have a premature ejaculation issue, but it's mostly just guys psyching themselves out

Performance anxieties in the bedroom are a hallmark of men’s magazine advice columns and a well-worn trope in bro movies. Either you’re worried about boner problems (old dudes in these films) or you’re just trying-hard-not-to-cum-oh-God-so-fast (pretty much any flick where some guy is jonesing for sex).

But for regular guys, the latter problem is a real issue—or so they think. David Rowland, a psychology professor at Valparaiso University, decided to interview a bunch of men to find out more about their perceptions of cumming too quickly. He discovered that around one third of guys think they’re too quick on the trigger, and their experiences were almost the same across the board.

In his recently released study, “Understanding Men’s Attributions of Why They Ejaculate Before Desired: An Internet Study,” he explains that for a lot of men, it’s all in their heads.

He spoke with Vocativ about why some men shoot faster than others and what they can do to address it

How many men are actually affected by premature ejaculation?

About 5 to 10 percent of men would be diagnosed with premature ejaculation—meaning they ejaculate within a minute or less and are quite bothered by it. But if you look at those who ejaculate before they want, it’s closer to 30 or 35 percent.

Out of the men you interviewed, what did they say bugs them most about it?

Ejaculating quickly often ends physical and emotional intimacy before the man and his partner would really like to. The man feels frustrated, the partner feels frustrated, so they tend to disengage and feel guilty and unsatisfied.

What kind of time frame are we talking about?

Most men take about six to 10 minutes to reach ejaculation. But this may happen after foreplay, several intermissions, then finally penetration. It becomes an issue when the man avoids foreplay because he is highly aroused and fearful of ejaculating right away—for example, within 60 seconds of penetration. Nevertheless, any couple that wants to prolong the intimacy of sex may feel cheated if the man cums before he feels ready for it.

Are some guys totally fine with cumming within five minutes?

Yes, of course, and so are their partners. The problem typically arises when the man feels that his partner is unsatisfied. And for her, when she feels that she is left unsatisfied by what may appear to be a selfish partner. In reality, the partner is not selfish, but rather is unable to control his arousal level.

Is it usually a physical or psychological condition, or both?

Neither, really. The reason why some men ejaculate quickly is not known. Perhaps it is something in the hard wiring of their neural systems, and various brain chemicals have been implicated in this process. We know that treating men with very low doses of antidepressants helps delay ejaculation. But couples have to continue to use the drugs to ensure the effect. Counseling can also help.

Your study states that most guys cum early because of a “lack of self-efficacy.” What do you mean by that?

Self-efficacy refers to one’s perceived ability to be effective at a given task based on previous experiences. That is, to be able to control various outcomes through their behaviors. Men who cannot control their ejaculatory response lose their sense of self-efficacy—their ability to impact what happens in sexual situations.

A small percentage claimed other reasons. What were they?

Usually fear of losing their erection or, in some instances, a sense that their partner may not be enjoying the sex. Therefore, as much as they’d like the sex to continue, they end it with ejaculation.

At what stage does it warrant medical intervention?

Typically, when a man is ejaculating within several minutes or less, and the situation is having a significant effect on the couple’s satisfaction and relationship. Interventions may be medical, but many couples also benefit from one or two counseling sessions that focus on good communication about sexual needs, expanding the repertoire of sexual behaviors so both partners find satisfaction, and practicing techniques that can help prolong intercourse.

What about more immediate solutions for, say, guys who aren’t in relationships?

A man might use a condom or even anesthetizing creams that help attenuate sensory input at the level of his penis.