The love of your life proposed to you and you said 'yes', congratulations! But what's next? The obvious thing to do is to start planning your wedding right? Wrong! This is one mistake a lot of ladies make after getting engaged. It is more important for you to build your relationship at this time and enjoy being with your partner before you get into the humdrum of wedding planning.Below are five things you should do when you're engaged:
- Keep getting to know each other: Ask a lot of questions to encourage conversation so there are no surprises about your partner after the marriage ceremony. Don't forget that marriage is taking two different backgrounds — two different ways of doing things — and making a new and, hopefully, improved life together. Remember that neither you nor your fiancé is perfect, and allow each other the privilege of not being perfect. Be more committed to making your marriage work before the wedding, and you will be able to work through difficult times easier.
- Find out each other's love languages: Get to know how you and your fiancé feel loved. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service and quality time, according to Dr. Gary Chapman. Find out your partner's love language, and then begin showing love in that particular way. This is because no one feels love only one way, you should use all the love languages, but give special attention to the love language your partner associates with most.
- Build good communication skills: The major cause of marital issues is communication — and lack of communication may include talking but not listening. There are specific communication danger signs, and learning to avoid them will help improve your relationship. Also, listening to your fiancé without your own agenda getting in the way will make your spouse feel loved immeasurably. It is very important that your fiancé can sense you are being authentic, so share with him or her your thoughts, struggles and emotions, and listen when your fiancé shares the same with you. Help your spouse feel like the most important person in your world.
- Talk about your vision of marriage and decide what's most important: What are your expectations for marriage? What is most important to you? Spend quality time discussing these important relationship questions. Continue to discuss them, developing a deeper appreciation for each other and better understanding each other’s backgrounds.
- Know how to manage money: The topic of money can be a very sensitive issue to discuss. What are your current spending habits? Do you deal with your money wisely? Once you get married, money becomes a bigger challenge. While you are engaged, begin your financial adventures with your fiancé by setting a mutual goal to live within your means. Be sure to discuss and set up a budget you can both agree on. Be realistic when setting up the budget. One person should not dominate over the other while discussing financial matters. It does not matter who brings in more money. The important thing is to focus on your relationship.
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